Losing an animal is about more than the grief itself. Everything happens at once, in a veterinary surgery, at the worst possible time, and somebody asks what you want done with the body while you are still in the room.
Almost nobody has thought about it in advance. Here are the questions and the answers, in case you find yourself facing them.
The First Decision
Three choices, and you can usually take a night over it if you ask.
Communal cremation. Cremation with other animals, no ashes returned. The standard service at most veterinary clinics and the cheapest.
Private or individual cremation. Cremation alone, with the ashes returned.
Burial, either at a dedicated pet cemetery or in the family garden where that is lawful.
Most vets can hold an animal for a day or two. Say that you are not sure, and ask for the time.
Pet Cremation Cost
Communal cremation, no ashes returned: 50 to 150 dollars depending on the size of the animal.
Individual cremation with ashes returned: Under 30 pounds: 100 to 200 dollars. 30 to 70 pounds: 175 to 300 dollars. Over 70 pounds: 250 to 450 dollars.
Extras frequently offered alongside cremation include a paw print, a fur clipping, a certificate, collection from home, the opportunity to observe the cremation, and an urn. Some are included and some are charged separately. Find out which applies at the service you are considering.
Horses and other very large animals require a different approach, usually through specialist services, and cremation for a horse commonly starts at 1,000 dollars.
One Question to Ask About Pet Cremation Services
There is a genuine issue in this business and it is worth stating openly.
Individual cremation is a premium service against communal, and enforcement of the distinction is not uniform. There have been prosecutions in several states against services that charged for individual cremation and did not provide it.
Ask the crematorium directly whether you can observe the cremation, or at least see the facility. A reliable provider will say yes without hesitating. That single question, politely asked, tells you almost everything you need to know.
You are also entitled to ask whether the veterinary practice uses an in-house crematorium or subcontracts, and to use a different provider if you prefer.
Pet Cemetery Services
There are dedicated pet cemeteries across the United States and they function much as human cemeteries do.
Plot costs typically run from a few hundred dollars to around 1,500 depending on the ground and the size of the animal. Opening and closing is usually charged separately, as is perpetual care where it is provided.
Some human cemeteries maintain pet sections, and a small number of states allow pets to be interred alongside their owners under certain conditions. Regulations differ significantly by state and by cemetery, so check rather than assume.
Grave marker rules in a pet section are far more relaxed than in a human section. Granite in almost any format is generally acceptable, and photographs, toys and ornaments that would be removed from a human grave are frequently permitted.
One thing to check before choosing a pet cemetery service: the endowment or perpetual care fund. Pet cemeteries have closed and been redeveloped, and a ground without a maintenance fund is relying on continuing sales forever.
Burying a Pet at Home
The most common choice, and the regulations are less obvious than people assume.
It is permitted in many jurisdictions, prohibited in some, and conditional in others. Check the local rule rather than assuming, particularly in an urban area.
Where it is permitted, the usual requirements are at least three feet of soil above the animal, away from wells, watercourses and utility lines, and not in a rented property.
The problem nobody mentions: you may move. A great many families bury an animal in the garden and later sell the house, and there is no good answer at that point. It is worth thinking about before rather than after, and it is one reason cremation has overtaken burial for pets.
Do not bury an animal in a plastic bag or a sealed container. Nothing breaks down, and it defeats the purpose.
Pet Grave Markers and Pet Headstones
Whatever the case, whether the animal is interred at a pet cemetery or in your garden, marking the place is ordinary practice.
Flat granite markers, 8 by 6 to 16 by 12 inches, engraved with the name and dates. From 60 to 300 dollars. Suitable for a pet cemetery or a garden.
Pet upright headstones, small tablets on a base. 200 to 600 dollars.
Garden stones and boulders with one engraved face. These look nothing like a cemetery headstone, which is exactly the point for many families.
Bronze plaques mounted on a boulder or a wall.
Etched portraits. Black granite takes a laser portrait at photographic quality, and pet portraits usually come out better than human ones because the eye is less critical of an approximation on an animal. If you want a picture of your animal on the marker, this is how it is done, and the results are frequently remarkable.
Granite is the material for any outdoor marker. Concrete, resin and painted markers bought cheaply online last only a couple of seasons, which produces exactly the neglected appearance you were trying to avoid.
Pet Memorial Stones for a Garden
The largest group we produce in this area, and the reason is simple. No permission is needed, no cemetery is involved, and it is in a place you visit often.
Three practical recommendations.
Set it on a compacted base rather than on soil, or it will settle unevenly within two seasons.
Keep it clear of the mower line if it is in lawn, or the edges will be chipped.
Cut the lettering deep. A horizontal marker collects leaves, soil and grass, and shallow carving fills and becomes unreadable far earlier than the same engraving would on a vertical stone.
Pet Urns
Sizing follows the same rule as for human urns: one cubic inch of capacity per pound of the animal's body weight. A 60-pound animal needs at least a 60 cubic inch urn, and manufacturers usually state capacity clearly.
Materials: wood, ceramic, metal and granite. For a house, any of them. For a garden, an outdoor niche or burial, granite or metal.
Photo urns with a frame on the front are the most popular type by far.
Biodegradable urns for burial or for planting with a tree.
Keepsake urns so that ashes can be divided, which comes up more often with pets than people expect, particularly where a household has separated.
Pet Memorial Gifts
If you are buying something for somebody who has lost an animal, the list of genuinely useful things is short.
A printed photograph they have not seen. As with people, the most valuable and least common gift there is.
An engraved garden marker with the animal's name. Outdoor, permanent, no maintenance.
A paw print, if one was taken. Vets usually take them and families usually forget they have one.
A donation to a shelter in the animal's name.
Company on the first walk, if it was a dog. The daily walk is where the absence is felt hardest.
The question to avoid: whether they are getting another one. Not for several months, and they will decide in their own time.
Losing an animal you lived with is a genuine bereavement and one of the least acknowledged, because there is no funeral, no leave and no condolence cards. If it hurts more than you expected, that is entirely normal.
