There is a difference between a quote in a card and a quote carved in stone, and many of the quotations people send us are unsuitable for the purpose.
The card will be read once, in a brief moment, by someone who understands its context. The headstone will stand for a century in broad daylight, without benefit of explanation or context, in less words than the original probably contained. This changes everything about the lines that actually work.
Why Do Most Quotes Fail When Carved in Stone?
There are four main problems, and recognizing them will save you a great deal of effort.
Length. The average flat marker will contain roughly four short lines once the name and dates are in. Most quotations people adore run to two or three sentences, and editing them ruins their rhythm.
Context. A line quoted from a novel or from a song works because of context. Without it, it will be read as a fragment.
Register. Something deeply moving said in a eulogy will sound arch in granite. Spoken language and carved language are different media.
Time. A lyric that everybody recognizes now will be obscure in forty years' time. This doesn't mean you can't use it, but it's worth noting that you are making a choice for the future.
The lines that survive being carved in stone are short, complete in themselves, and speak of presence or continuity, rather than explanation.
Headstone Memorial Quotes That Hold Up
Selections that work carved in stone, proven by frequency of occurrence and readability.
About memories outliving death To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. Thomas Campbell What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. Helen Keller Not gone, only gone before.
On love Grief is the price we pay for love. Attributed to Colin Murray Parkes Love is stronger than death. Whom we have loved we never lose.
On rest At rest. Rest now. Well done, good and faithful servant. Matthew 25:21 The Lord is my shepherd. Psalm 23:1
On journey Until we meet again. Homeward bound. Gone home.
On character A man of his word. She lived well and loved much. He did what he could.
That last one, from Mark 14:8, is one of the most subtly powerful epitaphs in the language and will suit any stone.
Quotes for a Headstone for a Father
The lines people choose most often for fathers and why.
He fought the good fight, he finished the race, he kept the faith. A man of his word. Hard worker. Good father. Good friend. He built things that lasted. Faithful unto death. Rest now, your work is done.
Fathers tend to get lines about working and building. This is a convention worth noting before you accept it, since a father who was chiefly gentle, or funny, or unreliable but loved all the same deserves a line that reflects that rather than one of responsibility.
The best headstone quotes for fathers are the short ones. He never missed a game is worth more than four lines of Scripture if it's true.
Quotes for Headstones for Mothers
The equivalent for mothers.
Her children rise up and call her blessed. Proverbs 31:28 She opened her arms to the poor. Proverbs 31:20 A mother's love is forever. She made a home wherever she was. Loved by all who knew her. Everything I am, she gave me.
Mothers tend to get lines about nurturing and making home. Same rule applies. A woman who ran a business for four decades, or sailed, or fought the council for twenty years wants a line about that rather than nurturing, and families find afterwards that they're glad they've chosen the unusual one.
Quotes for a Child's Grave
Treated separately since everything changes when it comes to children.
Every available quotation fails in this case. Anything about rest, fulfillment, longevity or plans hits hard. The quotes that work are the shortest ones.
Our beloved son. Too dearly loved to ever be forgotten. Safe in the arms of love. Now I lay me down to sleep. A little while.
Or, if there were any, the child's own words. A phrase said all the time by a four-year-old is worth more than anything written by an adult, and the families that pick them never regret it.
Dog Memorial Quotes
There is a special vocabulary used for pet memorials and there is no reason to feel embarrassed about using it.
Until we meet again at the gate. The best dog there ever was. Good boy. He waited by the door for fifteen years. Faithful to the last. My shadow.
The same principle applies, and even more so. Specific details trump generalities. He waited by the door tells more than anything about loyalty that you could write, and anybody who reads it knows exactly what sort of animal is lying there.
In a dog memorial, the name and one line about him is usually enough. You don't need the dates unless you want them.
The Problem of Attributions
Whether you will attribute the quote or not is a question, and it depends on two factors.
Space. An attribution takes up a line. In a flat marker, it is a quarter of your text.
Recognition. A popular verse from the Psalms does not need attribution; everyone knows it. A modern quote does, both out of respect and because otherwise people will think you wrote it yourself.
The usual solution is to attribute biblical references to the book and verse, which is economical, and to attribute named authors only where the quote could be taken for your own words.
One caveat about modern material. Song lyrics and modern poetry are copyright material. Nobody is likely to sue you for a headstone, but it's worth remembering that a monument company can refuse to cut a lyric without permission.
Frame It in One Line of Your Own Words
The best looking inscriptions rarely consist of one quote.
A quote by itself is a borrowed line. A quote followed by one of your own proves that a person wrote this and understood him.
"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die." She grew roses that nobody could match.
This is the entire technique, and it works on any stone.
Before it is cut
Read it out loud. Count the number of characters against the number the design will hold. Check each spelling and date twice, and then have someone else check them. Approve a proof that shows exact layout, font and spacing, not just a description.
And take your time. There is no deadline on a memorial, and a quote picked two weeks after the funeral is chosen by people who are not thinking straight for a stone that will remain there in a hundred years.
On the phrasing people use. Grave quotes, headstone quotes for dad and short headstone quotes for dad describe the same short line about a father, and headstone quotes for mom, headstone quotes for mother and mother grave quotes describe the same about a mother. The rule is identical in both cases: one borrowed line, framed by one of your own.
